Imperial Officers Stop Half-Baked Pirate Plan (GNS)

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Posted by: Jarek Sankin, Galactic Empire
Date: Year 11 Day 187
Posted from: Onboard the Imperial Star Destroyer I Imperator in the system Coruscant (-6, 50).

Bothawui, Bothan Space (INB) — Local security forces are questioning a detained individual regarding the attempted construction of an Eidolan-controlled shield generator in the Town of Many Vices. The town, a long-standing trouble spot on Bothawui, “is little better than a slum. We've been trying to help the residents for years,” noted Sergeant Alex Murphy, “things like free clinics, job placement, home repair. But everything we do tends to be undone by these pirates, all to the detriment of the local populace. The worst part is, the people here are too scared to leave, afraid of what Djo and her band will do to them and their families.”

As of press time, released reports state that the construction of the shield generator was an attempt by Teniel Djo to extort a “landing tax” from arriving traders and emigrants, despite the obvious lack of any power infrastructure to actually operate the generator. “Logistically and logically, it makes no sense. How can you operate a shield generator without a power source?” questioned Murphy. Officers first arriving on the scene found cages containing hundreds of squalls, small rodents indigenous to Chandrila, as well as crates of small wheels, leading those officers to speculate that Djo may have planned for a self-sustaining shield generator. “I've been patrolling Bothawui for a long time, seen a lot of strange things, but this beats them all,” commented Private First Class Michael Knight. “I mean, it looks like something out of those holotoons that my kid watches all the time.”

The sheer incompetency with which this effort was carried out has led some to believe that the once-feared Pirate Queen of the Galaxy is losing her edge. “She's been at this for, what? Twenty, thirty years? After a while, it's got to get to you. I mean, she was clearly a few bolts short of a vaporator before, but something like this makes you wonder if she's just flat out delusional now,” said PFC Knight. He continued, “maybe it's time for her to hang up the funny hat and eye patch, and just go take a long walk out a short airlock for her sake and ours.”

Despite assurances from Bothawui security detachments that this most latest of Eidolan moves against the Empire posed little real threat, patrols have been increased temporarily to make sure that no further incidents occur. Bothan Space government officials have issued a statement assuring the local populace that trade in the Both system remains uninterrupted and completely safe.