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Analysts Confirm Rebel Alliance Still Exists (GNS)
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Hacked by: Arturus Goth, Galactic Empire
Date: Year 10 Day 16
Onboard the Golan II Tarorasuil Defender East in system Bortras (19, 38).
**FROM THE OFFICE OF THE PRO CONSUL**
Coruscant (INB) — In a shocking report, Imperial analysts announced that the Rebel Alliance still in fact exists. After years and years of directing the pathetic revolt against the Galactic Empire, the Rebel Alliance quickly vanished from the galactic scene. The Rebels have not been heard from in some time. With a void in dissident "leadership", the Falleen lizards took over mainstream control over the rebellion.
"I can't believe it," stated Pro Consul Goth as he left a highly classified intelligence briefing. "When I heard the Rebels had elected a new chief of state, I wondered what state they were speaking of. They have put up virtually no opposition to our military forces in over a year. I thought they had finally accepted the futility of their conduct. I guess they felt it was time to come out of their sand holes."
Galactic indicators show that the Rebel Alliance has gained almost no public support in the past year, a time when the Empire has grown almost ten-fold in its population. Analysts expect Imperial growth to continue rising exponentially, with asexual Falleen lizard production being the only thing that could rise faster.
The degree of activity expected from the Rebel Alliance is unclear at this time, with analysts closely watching the new Rebel leadership and their known disdain for slime on their palace floors. When asked if the resurgence of the Rebel Alliance threatened the security of the Galactic Empire, the Pro Consul was struck with a bout of laughter.
"Of course not, Mr. Harzin. I have seen their latest public proclamations. I am glad to see the Rebel Alliance is still incompetent in checking its news releases for simple spelling errors. Why anyone would voluntarily choose to follow such idiots that are so close to those smelly lizards just baffles my mind."
